my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
