my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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