She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
