hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
