You surviving the open bar?
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My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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