his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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