tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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