Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the condom got lost in my hair
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It was confusing and full of hummus
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
