Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
