wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
