I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
