I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
