i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
