somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So many bounce houses so little time
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
