I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
