Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wish I only lived at night.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
