Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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