So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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