I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
