Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
