Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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