i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
