He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
