thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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