I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
