Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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