i barfeds in our rink
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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