I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
