Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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