you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
