In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
