twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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