i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
