this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
3pm strippers are depressing
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
