i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
