I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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