of course. lets lasso hookers.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize