Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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