I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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