You're my little dorito
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
