hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
