basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
