We won't sleep together?
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
