No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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