In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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