yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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