dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you inspire me to be a worse person
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize
