lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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