His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I want to make a zoo with you.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
