"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
