I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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