Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
